Tag Archives: The Left

My Interview with C.H.I.C.K.E.N.

Writing a blog isn’t all bacon and Rule 5 posts. To get the great stories you have to dig deep. This post is a great example. Through exhaustive research and dogged determination I managed to track down the elusive J. Edward Farquar, owner and operator of the Clueless Hack’s Interstate Cottage Key Exchange Network, or CHICKEN. Here is the rush transcript of that interview.

Marylin on PhonesThank you for calling the Clueless Hack’s Interstate Cottage Key Exchange Network. How may I direct your call?

ReporterYes. This is Jim from bRight & Early Blog. I’d like to talk to J. Edward Farquar. I understand that he is the head of CHICKEN. Is that right?

Marylin on PhonesThat’s correct. Not only is he the head of CHICKEN, he’s also the founder and COO. Let me see if he’s available. Hold please.

Mr. Farquar? I have some blogger on line two that want’s to talk to you.

J. Edward FarquarAnother one? I bet he’s one of those TEA-Bloggers too. Whatever. Hey babe, get me another cup of coffee, would ya?

Marylin on PhonesGet your own damn coffee — babe. When we get home, you’re giving me a foot massage, and don’t forget to take out the trash. Daddy told me not to marry a bum like you. Try to prove him wrong for once.

J. Edward FarquarWhatever you say, doll. Put him through.

Marylin on PhonesThank you for holding. I have Mr. Farquar on the line. [yelling] Eddie, pick up line two, you moron!

J. Edward FarquarJ. Edward Farquar here. Good to talk to you Jack. I read Light & Surly all the time. What can I do for you?

ReporterUh. It’s Jim, and that’s bRight & Early.

J. Edward FarquarWhatever. Listen Joe, I’m a busy man. Business is better than it’s ever been, so I can only give you a few minutes. I’ve gotta ton of deals to make, ya know?

ReporterIt’s Ji…never mind. Mr. Farquar, why don’t we start by having you tell just what it is that you do here at CHICKEN.

J. Edward FarquarWell, Skippy, the Clueless Hack’s Interstate Cottage Key Exchange Network is a way for members from one state legislature to trade housing with members from another state when they just have to “get away”, if you know what I mean. After all, hiding out, er, I mean, spending quality time in another state can get expensive if you’re staying in some five star resort. Hell, even if you’re staying at a Holiday Inn Express, although I haven’t seen any evidence of those kind of smarts in my clients. Don’t print that last part. Anyhow, what we do is arrange for legislators from one state to trade houses with legislators from another state. Saves a bunch of money when you can’t go home to pick up your pay check.

ReporterI see. So tell me, what is your background and how did you come to start CHICKEN?

J. Edward FarquarWell, Sparky, I spent a number of years working for WITSEC. That really gave me the background to start this business. You know, phony names, cover stories, anonymity, the whole nine yards. I mean, these guys don’t exactly want to be found while they’re in hiding, umm I mean on an out-of-state caucus junket. Anyhow, I saw a need and I filled it. American free enterprise at it’s best. Hey, it pays the bills.

ReporterI see. So, what has caused your business to take off like it has?

J. Edward FarquarA combination of things, really. Of course the big thing was the 2010 elections. Made my base anxious to get away it seems. And I don’t know how this happened, but somehow a bunch of politicians got a backbone transplant, or something. Suddenly, I’m in demand! God Bless the TEA Party, that’s what I say. I was gonna have to get a bailout of my own if the RINOs were still around.

Marylin on PhonesExcuse me. Eddie? The Ohio delegation is on hold.

J. Edward FarquarSorry, Barney, I’ve gotta wrap this up. Gotta make hay while the sun shines, you know. I have a feeling that business is going to tank after 2012. Tell all your readers at Slightly Burly that J. Edward Farquar says, “Hey”. [yelling]Sweet cheeks, tell Ohio I can get ‘em a deal on Indiana, and where is my coffee?

Marylin on PhonesTell them yourself, and you are not going to like where I pour that coffee, “sweet cheeks”.

Well, there you have it, and American success story even in this tough economy.

What Part of Establish Don’t They Understand

It’s time once again for the ACLU and the PC Paranoia crowd to get their Nanny State Knickers in a twist. William Teach has a round up titled Tis’ The Season For Liberals To Go Nuts Over Nativity Scenes highlighting the annual collective swoon these groups go into at the sight of a creche.

This annual hissy fit always reminds me of something that confuses me all year long. What part of “Establish” don’t the critics understand? The First Amendment starts out saying, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;” which seems clear enough to me. Obviously I’m not enlightened enough, so let’s take a look at the definition of “establish”.

Establish

tr.v., -lished, -lish·ing, -lish·es.

1.
1. To set up; found.
2. To bring about; generate: establish goodwill in the neighborhood.
2.
1. To place or settle in a secure position or condition; install: They established me in my own business.
2. To make firm or secure.
3. To cause to be recognized and accepted: a discovery that established his reputation.
4. To introduce and put (a law, for example) into force.
5. To prove the validity or truth of: The defense attorneys established the innocence of the accused.
6. To make a state institution of (a church).

“establish.” The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 13 Dec. 2010. http://www.answers.com/topic/establish

Now I don’t know about you, but I can’t see how any of the things they fight so hard against do anything to establish a religion. Applying their interpretation of establishment to politics would mean conservatives could establish total control just by hanging pictures of Ronald Reagan.

How is it they can work so hard to twist the first part of the clause to fit their world view while conveniently ignoring the part about “prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”

Am I way off base here, or am I just that much smarter than most liberals? Oh, wait. I think I just answered my own question.

How The Left Sees Independence

Several days ago President Obama indulged in a bit of creative editing when quoting the Declaration of Independence. The media pursued the omission with their typical vigor. In other words, they ignored it completely. Well how is the President supposed to get his message across if the fourth branch of government doesn’t help?

The bit of editing President Obama indulged in didn’t go nearly as far afield as the left would like, so I’m here to help. Here is the portion of the Declaration as I believe the Left would edit it.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created [If we're going to remove "their Creator" we have to remove this icky word.] equal, that they are endowed by their Creator [No way we can leave this in there.] with certain unalienable [If people knew that unalienable means, "Not to be separated, given away, or taken away" they might try to hold us to that "Living Document".] rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness [We can't limit happiness. It's the job of the government to insure that everyone is equally miserable so that everyone is equally happy.]. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers ability to rule from the consent of the governed elite who know best [What an odd idea, that "the governed" know how to run their own lives.]. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, fails to meet the needs of “The State”, the ruling class can and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness the greater good [The elite know best, therefore it is the elite who should make these decisions. Leaving such power in the hands of the unwashed masses won't bring about the Utopia we know is right around the corner.]. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. In fact, we’re counting on that. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism things don’t go quite right, as they invariably will not, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security to ignore all that and let “us” do what is best for them. ["throw off such government"? We can't allow that! They might start thinking that it's their country, and that they know best how to run their own lives. That's just madness!]

Yes, this is humor. But, am I wrong?

Strike Four?

If you can get to a radio you need to be listening to Glenn Beck right now. As many of us suspected the number of ACORN sting tapes didn’t stop at three. He is playing audio, and will show on FOX news this afternoon at 5pm, of an office in San Bernadino, CA.

The results are similar to those in Baltimore, DC, and New York.

What is jaw-droppingly different is the ACORN worker telling O’Keefe and Giles that she killed her husband. I guess she just wanted to fit in with the pimp and ho.

Got call and make sure the DVR is set.

Buh Bye Van

Van Jones is out.

A White House environmental policy adviser who specialized in “green jobs” resigned on Sunday after an uproar over his previous affiliation with a September 11 conspiracy group.

Van Jones, special adviser on green jobs at the White House Council on Environmental Quality, apologized on Thursday after videotape surfaced of him using a crude epithet to describe Republicans and amid revelations he had signed a petition suggesting U.S. government involvement in the 2001 attacks in New York and Washington.

No mention of his other controversial positions and his desire for incremental restructuring of the entire American way of life. Still, gone is gone.

His face saving resignation used the old classic “distraction” rationale.

Jones said he was resigning to avoid being a distraction in the administration’s effort to pass healthcare reform and climate change legislation.

“On the eve of historic fights for health care and clean energy, opponents of reform have mounted a vicious smear campaign against me,” Jones said in a resignation letter that was released to the media.

“I cannot in good conscience ask my colleagues to expend precious time and energy defending or explaining my past. We need all hands on deck, fighting for the future,” he wrote.

Of course by “smear campaign” he must mean “pointing out the truth about my past and my beliefs”.

There’s only one possible response to this news.

NEXT!

Funny and Acurate

Found at Gordon Cafe via my feed reader.

A Woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,

“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

“She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be an Obama Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

(h/t Concerned Citizen who is ConservaTeacher on Twitter)

John Hawkins – 20 Hypocrisies Of Liberalism

John Hawkins has a new Town Hall column – 20 Hypocrisies Of Liberalism. What is sadly surprising about the list is that it’s not very surprising. Here’s a taste:

1) …it’s impossible to come to any sort of reasonable compromise with conservatives on anything, but that we can fix our problems with nations like Iran and North Korea by just sitting down and talking things out.

If you can…




To learn more about the 100 Post Marathon read here and especially here.

How Many Straws Will It Take?

John Fund WSJ article, More Acorn Voter Fraud Comes to Light, looks at another case being brought against ACORN and the response from the left.

On Monday, Nevada officials charged Acorn, its regional director and its Las Vegas field director with submitting thousands of fraudulent voter registration forms last year. Larry Lomax, the registrar of voters in Las Vegas, says he believes 48% of Acorn’s forms “are clearly fraudulent.” On Thursday, prosecutors in Pittsburgh, Pa., also charged seven Acorn employees with filing hundreds of fraudulent voter registrations before last year’s general election.

As usual, ACORN claims that the abuses where only the work of a few bad employees.

But Catherine Cortez Masto, Nevada’s Democratic Attorney General, told the Las Vegas Sun that Acorn itself is named in the criminal complaint. She says that Acorn’s training manuals “clearly detail, condone and . . . require illegal acts,” such as requiring its workers to meet strict voter-registration targets to keep their jobs.

What is interesting in Fund’s piece is the marked difference between local and federal Democratic response.

State and city Democratic officials — who’ve been contending with its many scandals — are moving against it. Washington Democrats are still sweeping Acorn abuses under a rug.

He cites two examples: John Conyers (D-MI) suggesting that a House Judiciary Subcommittee look into the allegations surrounding the group and later withdrawing that idea saying, “the complaints against Acorn, I have concluded that a hearing on this matter appears unwarranted at this time.” Also Rep. Barney Frank; at first voting in favor of Michelle Bachmann’s amendment that would “block groups indicted for voter fraud from receiving federal housing or legal assistance grants” but latter reversing his position.

Bachmann’s amendment is about the money, and it is a lot of money.

In the stimulus bill passed by Congress, Acorn is eligible — along with other activist groups — to apply for $2 billion in funds to redevelop abandoned and foreclosed homes.

State after state, election after election, allegations and charges have been brought against this corrupt group. So, naturally, they’ve been enlisted to help with next year’s census. Unbelievable.

In spite of every straw heaped upon the camel’s back they don’t appear worried.

“We’ve had bad publicity before, and all it does is inform the community that we’re here working for the community,” Bonnie Greathouse, Acorn’s head organizer in Nevada, assured the Las Vegas Review-Journal this week. “People always come forward to our defense. We’re just community organizers, just like the president used to be.”

I don’t know if that’s scary, sad, or just infuriating. Maybe it’s all three.

I Get It Now

I’m running behind this morning, so I’ll keep this short.

One of the constant drumbeats during the Bush years was the idea that the President and his administration were shredding the Constitution. Well this administration is above that. They wouldn’t dream of shredding the Constitution, they’re too busy just ignoring it.

Two quick examples.

As I read through the various news reports on GM’s CEO “resignation” I was floored and speechless. John Hinderaker echos my thoughts.

I’m not sure who is on Obama’s “team,” or why they are better qualified than GM management to figure out how to “succeed in this competitive global market.” Obama’s arrogance is best explained, one suspects, by an a priori conviction that government always knows best.

[snip]

I wasted a couple of hours today looking for the Automobile Repair Clause in the Constitution, but I couldn’t find it. Again, this intermingling of the state with private (or formerly private) enterprise is a sad echo of intellectual currents that swept through Europe in the 1930s. Resurrecting this sort of state “capitalism” can hardly be considered progress.

Then this morning I read about another power grab at Ace’s.

Basically, HR 875 sets up a MASSIVE new government bureaucracy called the Food Safety Administration, and compels anything known as a “food establishment” to register with the federal government (paying registration fees of course) and to submit to inspections that are at different intervals depending on the type of “food establishment” you are.

The (formerly) ubiquitous summer roadside vegetable stand appears to be both Category 3 and 5 “food establishments” since they sells “fresh produce in ready-to-eat raw form” and “stores, holds, or transports food products prior to delivery for retail sale”.

The explicit exclusions in Section 3 (13)(B) do not exclude roadside vegetable stands.

Section 3 (14) explicitly declares “any farm” (no matter what the size) to be a “FOOD PRODUCTION FACILITY”.

Section 406 is a real doozy which places the burden of proof on the small farmer or roadside stand operator to demonstrate that none of their goods were participants in interstate commerce (the basis for this whole thing appears to be the Commerce Clause)

One of the commenters there (Fish) had this (Cleaned for bR&E) to say:

I am trying to find the notation in the Constitution that gives the Supreme Commander and his lackeys the right to f*** over farmers, but to date, it eludes me.

I also liked this one:

How soon before Michelle Obama faces fines for the farm in back of the White House?

Heh.

The overreaching is unbelievable.