Do not let this woman clean your car.
STOCKHOLM (Reuters) – A cleaning lady stole a train and drove it off the end of the tracks and smashed into a house in Sweden on Tuesday, injuring only herself in an incident police are investigating.
Rumor has it she will be getting a job cleaning the White House. It should be OK, that train wreck has already occurred.
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Here’s the headline I spotted in my feed reader this afternoon:
Man attacked by ‘booty call ninjas’
How can you not click over to that story?
There’s a first time for everything. A 44-year-old Chicago man told police officials that he was the victim of violent “booty call ninjas” on Friday.
According to the Herald News, the man said he’d been jumped around 1:15 a.m. after telling a former flame to come by his house to hook up.
Turns out that inviting an ex over for a little somthin’ somthin isn’t that great an idea when her new boyfriend thinks you would make a great nunchuks practice dummy. Who knew?
100 Post Marathon #18
Only a pet lover will understand this: Man saves dog by sucking snake venom from his nose
A man said he saved his dog’s life after sucking venom from a rattlesnake bite out of the animal’s nose. Bobby Jenkins said he began feeling ill after getting his dog, Tank, to a veterinarian. He went to the hospital and received a dose of antivenin.
I bet Bobby’s glad the snake bit Tank on the nose. I’m just sayin’
To learn more about the 100 Post Marathon read here and especially here.
You may have had some friends like these in high school or college. Of course if you’re reading this, probably not.
Two men accused of setting their friend’s groin on fire were sentenced to jail and prison this week.
Matthew Craig Pillers, 22, and Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer, 19, pleaded no contest to felony causing a fire that leads to great bodily injury, according to court officials.
[...]
The men routinely drank together and played practical jokes on each other. That night one of them poured cologne on Tuleja’s groin area while he was passed out and allegedly lit his pants on fire, according to prosecutors. Tuleja suffered second-and third-degree burns on his testicles and third-degree burns on his inner thighs.
Alcohol was involved? Who would have guessed. I’m also guessing that Tuleja won’t be throwing his buddies a get out of jail party.
It’s amazing what legislatures can find to regulate:
Florida moves to ban fake testicles on vehicles
TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) – Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state.
I just didn’t realize what a pressing issue this was.