. . . and I’m a Zengaholic.

My crops are withering in the field. I’ve neglected my jobs from New York, Cuba, and Moscow. All I have on the stove is a pot roast and ginger bread houses that won’t be ready to serve for another three days. And don’t even get me started on my apartment and job in the sweets factory.

I gave up on my pirate empire weeks ago. The others have to go too. I’m gonna have to do this cold turkey. My Facebook games are taking up way too much time.

Don’t let this happen to you.

While two intrepid investigative reporters, ingeniously disguised as DC socialites, crashed a White House party they found this document underneath some arugula leaves in a kitchen trash can.

MEMO

FROM: Management
TO: All Offices and Personnel
RE: Our New Business Model

I am sending this out to our entire team to outline and explain our newly developed business model that will guide us in the new year. We are encouraged by the unprecedented demand for our products and services. It is that high demand, coupled with current, on-going economic conditions, that is driving this directive.

We have listened to our managers and others “in the field” and developed the following:

• Extreme high demand is causing us to increase staffing dramatically. Although our regional managers and Senior Vice Presidents saw a need for higher numbers, we are pleased to announce that we will be hiring 30,000 new workers early in the year.
• Experts tell us that aggressive advertising forces our competition to do the same thing, so we will keep our advertising to a minimum. We are confident our competitors will do the same.
• While the 30,000 new hires are nearly half again our current workforce, we can not sustain that number indefinitely. We need to prepare to ramp down operations and start reducing staffing by the start of Q3 2011.
• It has always been our goal to transfer operations to the local team. On our new, accelerated schedule we will do that no matter how prepared they are to take on the new role. We are sure that our competition will respect the fact that our local team may be under prepared for the task, and will do nothing to interfere with our local partners or customer base.

This program is designed to satisfy our core stock holders as well as the minority share holders. The suggestion that it satisfies neither, and possibly angers both, is immaterial. Our consultants, and even our competitors, have said that this is the best plan.

We are trying to determine what company produced this document. Any ideas?

My first thought when the White House launched their fink-on-your-neighbors email campaign was that the fishiest comments concerning the health control bill (it is about control and power, not care and not insurance) were coming from the administration. Bryan Riley, writing for American Thinker, calls it the Obama Administration: Home of the Whopper. He examines 10 whoppers contained in a WaPo op-ed by Health and Human Services (HHS) Secretary Kathleen Sebelius.

Two of my “favorites”:

Whopper Number 5: Americans shouldn’t waste their time trying to understand the details of Obama’s proposal.

SEBELIUS: [W]e can’t let the details distract us from the huge benefits that reform will bring. Nor should we let ourselves be distracted by attacks that try to use the complexity of health reform to freeze Americans in inaction.

FACT: An insurance agent who advised his clients to ignore the fine print in a proposed policy could wind up in jail. Anyone who says “don’t worry about the details, this is too complex for you to understand anyway,” probably has something to hide.

[...]

Whopper Number 9: Government health care will deliver incredible results at low prices.

SEBELIUS: Instead, we can make investments in prevention, wellness and health information technology that will allow the health-care system to deliver incredible results at prices we can all afford.

FACT: Because government programs under-pay doctors and hospitals for their services, those health care providers are forced to make up the difference by shifting costs to people who have insurance. According to Milliman, Inc., Medicare and Medicaid under-payments increase the cost of health insurance by $88 billion. Instead of fixing this problem, President Obama has proposed even more Medicare cuts.

Read the whole thing. This FISHY bill can still be stopped, and it needs to be stopped. Secretary Sebelius, your explanations are about as fishy as they come. Please turn yourself in immediately.

This video comes to us via Dave in Texas at AoSHQ

Rep. Joe Wilson introduced an amendment, “requiring Congresspersons who vote for public plan to have to enroll in it.” (via twitter @CongJoeWilson) Call your Rep. and INSIST they keep that in. That’ll sink this bill faster than anything.

Living in government housing used to be limited to military personnel (I still remember visiting my uncle and his family at Ft. Dix) and, what we used to call, “the projects”. Not anymore.

I bet you thought that if you bought a house, you actually own it and can, with reasonable exceptions, do with it what you want. You probably think that if you want to live in a log cabin, with wood stoves that belch smoke into the air for heat, and an old washer and dryer that don’t have those little EnergyStar stickers on them you can because it’s your life and your property. You paid for it with money you earned with the sweat of your brow and what the heck is America anyhow if a body can’t live in the home they want furnished with the appliances they want?

Ah, silly you. You didn’t reckon on the Democratic Party’s desire to control every minuscule aspect of your life.

Jimmie Bise’s post is a sobering and disturbing look at just one section of passed-without-reading Waxman-Markey mess. It’s section 304, and it says, in part:

(A) preparation, and public disclosure of the label through filing with tax and title records at the time of–

(i) a building audit conducted with support from Federal or State funds;

(ii) a building energy-efficiency retrofit conducted in response to such an audit;

(iii) a final inspection of major renovations or additions made to a building in accordance with a building permit issued by a local government entity;

(iv) a sale that is recorded for title and tax purposes consistent with paragraph (8);

(v) a new lien recorded on the property for more than a set percentage of the assessed value of the property, if that lien reflects public financial assistance for energy-related improvements to that building; or

(vi) a change in ownership or operation of the building for purposes of utility billing; or

(B) other appropriate means.

As Bise notes, “Pay close attention to (iii), (iv), and (vi) because those hit you right where you live.” You need to read his whole post. If your head doesn’t explode (I make no guarantees) head over to this post by Stephen Spruiell & Kevin Williamson and read about 49 other little tidbits of nanny state delight, including:

43. Waxman-Markey also enables Obama to indulge his persistent desire to use the tax code to transfer wealth from people who pay taxes to people who don’t — i.e., from likely Republican voters to likely Obama voters. The bill “amends the Internal Revenue Code to allow certain low income taxpayers a refundable energy tax credit to compensate such taxpayers for reductions in their purchasing power, as identified and calculated by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), resulting from regulation of GHGs (greenhouse gases).”

44. Not only will Waxman-Markey slip more redistribution into the tax code, it will establish a new monthly welfare check. It will create an “Energy Refund Program” that will “give low-income households a monthly cash energy refund equal to the estimated loss in purchasing power resulting from this Act.”

45. Another new class of government dependents will be created by Waxman-Markey: Americans put out of work by Waxman-Markey. The bill establishes a program to distribute “climate change adjustment assistance to adversely affected workers.”

The bottom line is you are going to have less (much less) on your bottom line. Beyond that you are going to have less (much less) personal freedom and rights.

It’s passed in the House. We can not allow it to move forward in the Senate. The amount of damage this bill can do between now and 2010/2012 is mind-boggling. Make no mistake, this bill will do nothing to stop “climate change” (how can you fix a hoax?), but will do plenty to stop prosperity and replace capitalism with government redistribution of wealth.

If this doesn’t scare you, you’re just not paying attention.

I received a response from my rep. Adam Putnam when I wrote regarding the Cap and Tax bill. He voted against it, as I expected, but one paragraph from his email was very striking.

Fundamentally, the bill fails to ensure that an adequate amount of renewable or alternative energy sources are developed and deployed to compensate for the bill’s declining cap on fossil fuel emissions, as well as foster development of clean nuclear power. Instead, it would impose 397 new regulations and 1060 new mandates on the American public.

Wow! No wonder they didn’t want anyone to read it before they voted. It has hard to imagine a more intrusive, destructive piece of legislation (although I’m sure they’ll try). We must stop this in the Senate. Call, write, fax, email your Senators today.

It was supposed to be a bill to address the “problem” of “climate change(?)”. That wasn’t flying, so they labeled it a jobs bill. Right. What it really is, is an economy killer.

This bill, named for Democrats Henry A. Waxman of California and Edward J. Markey of Massachusetts, would have adverse and lingering consequences for every American. It would raise the cost of electricity for our homes, fuel for our cars and the energy that produces our manufacturing jobs, with little or no environmental benefit. Further, independent experts estimate it would cost Americans more than $2 trillion in a little more than eight years.

Just think about the ways this will impact the economy. Energy is used at every step of every thing we make, buy, and consume. Not only will we be impacted directly by higher gas and utility prices, but indirectly on every single thing we do or purchase.

Let’s go to the grocery store. Want to buy a loaf of bread? The farmer growing the wheat will be paying more to plant, grow, and harvest that wheat. It’s going to cost more to ship and process it into flour. Add a few more cents when the flour is made into bread, packaged, shipped to the stores, and don’t forget the additional costs to the grocery store just to keep the lights on and the doors open.

You can do that exercise with every single product in your shopping cart.

Read this editorial as well.

This bill, if allowed to pass in the Senate, will cost all of us. A lot. Don’t wait, contact your senator and tell them to vote no!

(h/t pomalom via twitter)