President Obama and the Democratic Congress are so excited about the Cash for Clunkers program that they have decided to go after an even more insidious greenhouse gas producer, Volcanoes. Lost between Mark “No Future in Politics” Sanford’s presser and the All Barack Chanel infomercial was this announcement from the White House:

Click for larger image

The stunning pictures of Sarychev Peak taken by the ISS have inspired the President to ask Congress for legislation that will allow the world to trade in their old, high CO2 emitting volcanoes for newer, more eco-friendly models.

Not only will this help stem the crisis of global warming, but it will also save or create nearly 100,000 jobs. A third of those jobs will be dedicated to creating a new, greener volcano. Another third will try to figure out what to do with all the older model spewers, while the final third will go to ACORN to register democrat voters who will allow us to continue this silliness.

The basics of the program are this:

• If you have an active volcano that you want to trade you can submit your application at Kash4Krakatoa.gov
• If you purchase a volcano that emits 10% less CO2 you will receive a gift-card from Volcano Depot in the amount of $1,000,000.00
• Trading in your spewer for a model with 20% less gaseous eruptions will earn you a $2 million dollar card, and for any trade in the exceeds 30% you will get a cool (hehe, we have a sense of humor) Billion dollars.
• In addition, for any trade in you will also get a copy of An Inconvenient Truth autographed by High Priest Algore.

If this program is as successful as we anticipate we will be looking into developing a Septillion for Sunspots program that will really get to the heart of the matter while also achieving our ultimate goal of making the dollar worth about $0.00001

(h/t Mike’s America at Flopping Aces)