NEWS ALERT: Must source bRight & Early

While his resume may appear to be a bit thin to a corporate recruiter filling a middle management position (or even to a casual observer), it is important to note that there are several items that should not be overlooked. Do not fall into the trap of merely considering what he has actually done — little as that may be. What must be included in any real analysis are the things The Obamessiah thought about doing:

• He told ABC that he considered joining the military. Inadvertently left out of his two autobiographical works, this information is sure to be added to future editions.
• Scrapple Face has learned that The One, “had also considered being an Alaskan commercial fisherman and moose hunter.”
• At one time in his life he wanted to run away and join the circus. He realized that dream the day he was sworn in to the United State Senate.
• Should his campaign for the presidency fail, he would love to take a position as a news anchor. He is often overheard saying, “Have you seen all the teleprompters they have?”
• In spite of all of these near miss resume enhancers, his real dream is to be a porcine Avon consultant.