Sure, you have to go to work today. It’s Monday. But on the second Monday in January you should be able to come home and dive in to Day Seven of 24. But there’s a writers strike. Dammit, we don’t have time for a writers strike! What’s a real fan to do?

Participate in Talk Like Jack Bauer Day of course.

Here are a few examples from the TLJBD Faq.

-Make sure to yell very simple requests.
-Take a helicopter to work.
-Issue threats that involve family members and/or body parts.
-Always mention that you’re running out of time.
-Carry a manpurse. Wear aviators. Don’t do drugs.
-Start each conversation with “I’m federal agent (your name), and today is the longest day of my life”.

Boss: Hey, where are the reports I asked for?
(pull out stapler, move towards boss)
You: I think the question you should be asking is how are you going to read the reports after I staple your eyelids to your desk!

(If a co-worker tries to talk to you while you’re using the urinal, finish up, flush, walk over to the sink, wash your hands, and remove a paper towel from the dispenser.)
You: You probably don’t think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I’d hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It’s very painful. (Reference)

Co-worker: Hey, can you cover for me? I need to run an errand.
You: Let’s get one thing straight: the only reason you’re still conscious is that I don’t want to do your work for you.

Do it! Now!

NOTE: Blogs.4Bauer.com will be hosting the Writers-Strike Substitute tonight at 8pm Eastern.