It’s time once again for the annual Beloit College Mindset List, or as I like to call it the Make Me Feel Old List. The list, “looks at the cultural touchstones that have shaped the lives of today’s first-year students.” Here are just a few highlights from that list:

• ~They have never heard anyone actually “ring it up” on a cash register.
• ~They are wireless, yet always connected.
• ~Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.
• ~DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.
• ~”Google” has always been a verb.
• ~Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.
• ~Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents’ attics.
• ~They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.
• ~Small white holiday lights have always been in style.
• ~Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.
• ~Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

And in their political world:

• ~They have known only two presidents.
• ~A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents’.
• ~The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.
• ~Richard M. Daley has always been the Mayor of Chicago.

And the one world event that will really make you feel old:

~~The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.~~

Time for me to go oil my walker.

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