Waiting For The Followup Story

First, here’s the story:

Bear killed after biting Boy Scout

SPRINGVILLE, Utah – A black bear that bit a sleeping Boy Scout through the wall of his tent was shot after it later returned to the camp, authorities said.

Colton Stewart, 14, woke up early Wednesday to a burning sensation in his upper arm, then realized it was a bear biting his arm through the tent, state wildlife officials said. He pulled away and heard the bear run off through the brush.

“It wasn’t biting viciously. They put their mouth on things to see what they taste like,” said Anis Aoude, regional wildlife manager for the state Division of Wildlife Resources. “In this case, there just happened to be a kid’s arm on the other side of the tent.”

The bite wasn’t serious, but camp officials notified the state, which sent a game warden to the Adventure Park Scout Camp in central Utah.

I’m glad everything turned out OK (well, if you’re not the bear, that is). Still, I’m waiting for the followup stories:

ACLU Sues Boy Scouts for Killing Bear

The state chapter of the ACLU has brought suit against 14 year old Colton Stewart, his Boy Scout Troop, and the BSA, Inc. over the civil rights violations inflicted on this poor innocent bear.

“The number of atrocities committed are unprecedented”, an ACLU spokesperson said, “The bear was excluded from the activities of the group, a clear human rights violation. We believe it was because the bear was homosexual.”

PETA Decries Killing Boy Scout Bear

Come on. You know those stories are just waiting to be written. Add your own headlines in the comments.

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