A Visit from St. Fitz (redux)

Sure it’s July. But, in light of Robert Novak’s column describing his role in the Plame story, what better time to pull out this oldie, but goodie:

T’was the night befor Fitzmas,
and through the White House
Every creature was wondering how this thing would turn out.

Lawyers with briefcases sat on their chair,
In case that indictments soon would be there.

The Kos Kids were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of perp-walks danced in their heads;

And Val with her scarf, and Joe with his shades,
were hoping to bring down some neo-con aides.
When on the South lawn there arose such a clatter,
all the leaks about leaks had confused the whole matter.

Away to the TV, we turned on the box,
maybe their’ll be some good news on FOX.

Klieg lights lit reporters from every news channel
awaiting the word from the grand jury panel.
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
Jim Cantori decked out in his hurricane gear.

There was Rather, just looking for one more sound bite.
He had just been to Kinkos, so it should be all right.

More rapid than eagles the leaks, how they came,
They all whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, SCOOTER! now, CHANEY! now, POTUS and ROVE!
On, CONDI! on RUMSFELD! Moonbats found a treasure trove!
To the morning news shows and the Grey Ladies’ pages!
We’re about to all witness the scoop of the ages!”

As all waited for the falling of the grand jury’s ax,
They were meet with an obstacle, those things called facts.
Still into each story, speculations they flew,
With a crap load of rumors, and St. Fitzgerald too.

And then, in a twinkling, we heard on “Today”
“This could be even better than Ronnie Earle and DeLay”.
As we hit the remote and we surfed every channel,
here came Pat Fitzgerald and his short timer panel.

As the press looked for clues in their dress and behavior,
they were hoping this story would be one they could savor;
Were indictments and jail time the gift he would bring?
The old media was so giddy they could just about sing.

Two years in the making, a grand investigation!
How would this story play in red-state parts of the nation?

The trolls posted comments on every red blog,
“Bush equals Hitler, and Cheney’s his dog!”
Sources close to the battle would give us a tease,
“This is all confidential,” they would say with a wheeze.
Pat expanded his powers in the final days,
as the DU faithful sat around in haze.

Fitz was looking beneath every rock in the place,
Judy Miller was searching for a new work space.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave us to know we had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, as the rest speculated.
And filled his reports; would the left be elated?

“After many long months I am forced to report,
that no law has been broken”, he said with a snort.

He sprang to his airplane, going back to O’hare.
“It was never about covert ops, like you care.”

But we heard him exclaim, ere he left without warning,
“HAPPY FITZMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-MORNING.”

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